Smacking your children?

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Smacking your children?

Post by Croc-O-Dile on Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:08 am

By smacking I mean tapping them on the hand or bum to scare them when they're doing something bad like biting you or trying to touch the hot stove. Not smacking them across the room.

How many of you do/will smack your kids when all else fails?
FOB thinks there are no reasons a child should be smacked, while I don't see a problem with it when you're trying to teach them something like "no biting," or when they're pulling your hair because you won't let them have something. It's not hurting them, it's just spooking them.

Personally, I feel I wasn't smacked enough as a child. I was too spoiled, someone needed to beat my ass.
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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by jojo16 on Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:39 pm

i dont see the need in it. theres lots of other ways around gettin a child to listen and behave without having to be physical. you can be strict by using a tone of voice or not letting them have a toy or a treat. there going to be more bothered about that then scaring them by smacking them
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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by mummy2b18 on Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:41 pm

Never. I Will Never smack my little boy! I just really dont agree with it!

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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by Lil' Bug on Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:19 pm

I don't agree with using force as a form of discipline however I'm not one to judge you in any way if thats how you choose to raise your child. I just think that if you are trying to teach him that smacking other children for example is wrong, its going to be a contradiction if you're going to smack him yourself. Just something to think about.
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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by flutterby on Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:28 pm

I think it is a totally personal choice, provided your not beating your child, then it is your right as a parent to decide what you want to do, I also feel you do not have the right to judge anyone else for this, not that anyone seems to be.

Also there are alot of people who will say they won't smack their child, but I honestly think until you have looked after a 2/3 year old 24/7 you simply cannot know what you will do!

Also I think people need to remember that shouting at a child can be just as bad if not worse, the things I've heard parents say are awful, and just plain hurtful!

Also you know your own child what works for one may not work for another, just lots of things to take into consideration, and the fact that you may be protecting them in the long run, a light slap on the hand is probably enough to deter a 1 year old from touching something dangerous again!

I am not condoning smacking, nor am I condemning those that do it, it is a personal choice, what I choose to do is my own choice, and I do not feel the need to share this, I do what it right for my family!

And just a gentle reminder to anyone who may read this, I understand that everyone has different veiws and this is an issue of great debate, but please respect others, and keep it civil, let us know what you think without persecuting people for their personal choices.

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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by KrisKitten on Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:09 pm

personally i dont plan on doing it, but if it comes down to it then i will and i wont lose sleep over it.
I was smacked when i was little, only ever when it was in serious circumstances but it did the job and i never suffered from it.
I dont agree at all with the 'if you do it then it means its ok for your kid to' idea at all.
Children should learn from an early age that there is a difference between what grown ups can do and what children can do. I mean i dont think u would ever say, not turn on the oven in front of ur oven because if you do then that means its ok for them...
there are things u are allowed to do as a grown up and they cant do as i child IMO xxxxx

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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by Croc-O-Dile on Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:16 pm

I know when I was a child, I didn't listen to anybody. They could ground me or put me in time out, but I didn't care because I knew I'd get whatever they took from me back eventually. (mind you, this is at 2/3 years old) I was a very bad child. Only to my mom though, when it came to other people I was a complete angel. So I think that's why I don't see a problem with tapping them to get through to them when all else fails. Because that's the only thing I'd listen to.

Just to add to what Kris was saying, my niece is almost 3 and went through a stage where she smacked everyone, so to get her to stop her mom smacked her hand to show her that it hurt. She stopped smacking people because she realized it was hurting them. It doesn't work for everybody, but sometimes a child only learns from being able to relate it to a personal experience.
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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by stuffymuffy on Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:27 pm

Ally I agree with you, looking back I think my parents were saints for not spanking me more than they did! I was the youngest of my mom's chilren and second youngest of my dad's so I was quite the spoiled brat lol Personally I don't see anything wrong with spanking a child as a last resort, by spanking I mean a light tap on the bum or the hand when a "no" or time out hasn't worked.
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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by Lil' Bug on Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:47 pm

I think we tend to follow in our parent's choices of discipline because we realize what worked for us and what didn't. I was spanked as a child and while I say I won't do it with my son, I agree with Kris in that if I do I won't lose any sleep over it. A mild spank on the bottom or hand most definately never hurt anybody and most people would probably agree. I highly doubt there are many individuals who didn't recieve at lease one light tap on the bottom throughout their childhood. I just think the term "smacking" could cause some heated views since it sounds a little violent, so I think everyone should sit down and realize smacking really just means a tap on the butt or hand, not a pop in the face lol. I think I may have contradicted my previous comment but thinking back on my childhood, I was spanked many of times, and I grew up to respect my parents and my elders. I hope my son grows up to respect me as well, and if a stern voice or a time-out fails to do so, then a light tap on the butt will probably not be out of the question.
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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by Croc-O-Dile on Wed Mar 17, 2010 9:41 pm

Yeah, I think it also depends on the child and how they learn. Some kids, like my younger brother, feels bad and shapes up if he even thinks our mom is mad with him. While other children, like my cousin, could care less if their parent is mad with them and just flat out don't listen.
I also think it depends on how the parent reacts afterward. Whenever my mom spanked me or my brothers she would always come back to our room after a few minutes and explain why she did that and make sure we knew she didn't hate us. (because all three of us were the kind of kids that would get yelled at and then go "YOU HATE ME!" )
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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by Mommymonster on Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:27 am

I remember being younger and I did not have a good childhood, but that was more lack of parental guidance. I know that my mom hit/smacked...my brother more than I. I spank my kids but by learning from her I know the limits to a "spanking". I am more bark than bite, and they know it, but they also know the line and when Mom is about to cross it!

I remember also the yelling "I HATE YOU" and I think the most traumatic of it all above spankings, drinking and neglect etc was her yelling back "I HATE YOU TOO"

My children try it, and I DRIVE THEM NUTS!!!!
I get the I hate you, and give them the "Thats ok, because I will always love you..."
Makes them realize they are being not very nice to mom and they can't get the rise from me.

SIDENOTE: My mother is a way better Grandma, she should have started there!
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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by DeclansMummy on Sat May 08, 2010 1:02 pm

I dont really agree with smacking either, but as a kid my mum did with both me and my 2 brothers. But she just said it was a tap on the bum for being cheeky or something. But when Declan arrives me and my husband are saying we won't smack him, but just use our voices to tell him off when he's naughty.
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Re: Smacking your children?

Post by {Nicole} on Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:42 pm

I think it depends on the circumstances, eg child trying to run across road, touch oven etc. And I would only use it as a last resort
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