Child's Last Name

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Child's Last Name

Post by ameerah on Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:40 am

Hey ladies!
My son currently has my last name which is a hyphenated last name. I never wanted him to have my last name even though I am not together with his dad because I think he needs to have it, and it will help him know his heritage. What are people's opinions? Is it better for children to have the same last name as the parent that they live with mentally and emotionally or does it not really matter?
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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by QuintinsMommy on Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:50 am

I'm not with the father of my son, and my son has my last name, It was very important to me that he have my name

but its up to you what you think is right for your child Smile

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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by ameerah on Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:52 am

Can I ask why it is important to you that he has your last name? I am just curious and am trying to think about this from all angles and aspects.
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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by QuintinsMommy on Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:04 am

it was important to me because his father isn't a good person, and I rather him carry on my family name then a name of a family who wants nothing to do with my son.

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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by ameerah on Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:10 am

Gotcha. That makes perfect sense! My son's father's family, apart from his father and one aunt don't seem to want much to do with my son, and his grandfather said many a nasty thing when I was pregnant. But I am trying to put that aside...

N, my son's father thinks that my son should be allowed to change it when he is 12 if he wants. I personally think that if it is going to be changed it should be changed before he starts school so there is no confusion for him later on and so that kids won't tease him. I know that I can register him in things wanting him to be called by his dads last name without actually changing it.

Its SO hard to know...ladies do you think a child at kindergarten age is too young to decide what their last name should be?
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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by QuintinsMommy on Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:18 am

oh another reason I wanted his last name to be mine is because I know I will always be in his life, and so will my family, I have no idea if fob or fobs family will be..


I think kindergarten age is too young, and 12 isn't too old. no will tease him for a change of last name,at least I don't think so


Last edited by Preggoeggo on Wed Mar 03, 2010 10:09 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by Lil' Bug on Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:50 am

My baby will take my boyfriend's last name once he arrives. Mostly because its very important to both my boyfriend and his family, as it will be the first grandson to carry on the "Byrne" name. I guess its really your own personal preference and if the baby's father is still in the picture then its something to be discussed further. However, I definately agree with the idea of giving your son the choice to change his name when hes old enough! I think thats great!
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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by Love Bunny on Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:51 am

Yeah I think its important to have the last name of the parent they live with I took my dads last name even though my mum and him split up and I think it upset her that he was so insistant I took it.

My baby has her daddys last name because my dad doesnt deserve his grandaughter named after him and also because me and my partner are in a solid relationship and are hand-fasting in the future so I will also take his name Smile

x
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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by Sazzles on Wed Mar 03, 2010 1:10 pm

my kids have/will hae fathers last name Smile

we were going to do double barrelled but decided to just give them his name. i dont really mind to be honest i have had 3 surnames in my life (my dads, my mums and my step dads) and it has never bothered me Smile

also i know that even if we werent together he'd still be in there life so i dont see a reason why they shouldnt have his name

but each to their own hun Very Happy if he'd have left me when i was pregnant last time id have definately given her my surname x

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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by Love Bunny on Thu Mar 04, 2010 3:04 am

Oh yeah I agree! Theres no way she'dve taken FOB name whoever he was if they'dve left me! x
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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by Jellyt on Thu Mar 04, 2010 10:25 am

She'll have OHs last name because we're engaged and i'll be taking his last name when we can afford to get married (those plans will probably be on hold for a lonnnng time). We did discuss double barelled but thought it'd be easier for her to take his as our last names don't sound so great together. If we weren't together though she'd definately be taking my name. I think that they should have the last name of the parent they live with but each to their own ofcourse Smile

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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by flutterby on Fri Mar 05, 2010 1:54 pm

Just to confuse matters Jak has my surname, Summer has OHs and so will Noah, me and OH weren't together when Jak was born and I kept saying he didn't know what he wanted so I thought it best for him to have my name at the time, we only split briefly and it was probably not a good idea to give him my surname as I knew we'd get back together, but if we get married, his name can be changed for free on the register, so there you go. Not that it's likely we will even get married, but I will take his name at some point, Jak's will be changed at the same time!

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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by Sazzles on Fri Mar 05, 2010 3:07 pm

ohh Hanna i never knew that Smile interesttinggg

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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by jojo16 on Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:28 pm

alice has my surname because im not with fob and he doesnt see her so i didnt even consider her having his. i dont even like him lol she doesnt need to be named after some1 hu doesnt see her and even if he starts to theres no garuntee it will be forever. knowing him as soon as he has his own family she will be the last thing on his mind. i think she whould have a name of her main carer witch is me because im not going anywhere. its up to everyone has a dif opinion Very Happy x
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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by jojo16 on Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:31 pm

also kids names change all the time. if parents then get married and mother and child both change there name to fathers. there no right or wrong which is should be but i cant see any child being teased atall jus because there surname has changed. x
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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by KrisKitten on Sat Mar 06, 2010 8:33 am

Tommy has his dads name, the way i look at it is that whatever our relationship he is his dad and thats just how things work lol
Some people were like well what if u 2 split...well hes still gonna be his dad isnt he?
Altho if he refused to be in his life i think it would be different.
I also do plan on marrying DF so ill have his surname too.
And i still have a part of my upbringing in his name, his middle names are after my dad and stepdad - Karl Michael xxxxxx

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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by lily123 on Sun Mar 07, 2010 6:39 pm

My daughter is gonna have my last name.
FOB is an absolute asshole if i'm honest, i'm not with him, or ever will be! (i won't go into it now Razz) and she's gonna be living with me so it makes sense to me for her to have my name Smile

Also, i grew up with a different surname to my Mum. When mum married my dad she never took his last name, idk why, and we all got our dads surname. When they divorced we were left with his name, which usually wouldn't bother anyone, but some of us got questions at school from other kids like "Why have you got different names?" and "Does that mean you're adopted?" and it had some nasty effects on all of us, especially my youngest brother Max who was only 5 at the time. I had my surname legally changed to include my mum's name as soon as i was 18 (a long and nightmarish process lol) and Max is gonna do the same. xxx

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Re: Child's Last Name

Post by lizardbreath on Fri Mar 12, 2010 8:44 pm

My daughter has Her dads last name . Just because of alot of reason . One because I felt it was the right thing to do , two because his sister asked me what i was going to do about last names ( as we are an on again off again couple) and she was pretty much in tears asking me and three because i Felt that this is for our Daughter. Now if he didnt want anything to do with me or her then No she would Have my last name but even when we break up his Daughter is still his Number one concern.
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